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I am a Deviously Deviant
Mamma-Ba
Female/United States
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Last Visit: 52 weeks ago
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Yesterday, my son, discovered a way to possibly reach an old love (U), and a younger sister (U), and a loving neice, and my sister's husband. This is it, I am hoping. Mamma-san, NO one in this family disowned you. Keith was not very nice (verbally) to me, but when was he? I was not there throught out the entire blow-out and do not even know what happened???! Except that me, my husband, and my son, were written out of your life, via Keith. My in-laws hate me, even still. So, if that is the case, so be it. But, I would like to still get a chance to know you and love you and your daughter. Can Keith share? Love Mamma -Ba.
PS. It has been a long time! I love you all, and have lots to talk about.
okay, first off lay off Keith, if his 'dry wit and galouse humor' offened you, then you are in for a nasty surprise because Zeno is OUR child and she reflects us. It was that very humor that drew us to each other, and holds us strong. let me set a couple of things staight, right from the get go. It was ME that made the decission to step back and cut all ties, It was a deccission I came to in therapy so so I could move on and heal, and I have. Keith did ask I asked him to, it has not been in any way easy for any of us, but we are a very strong and loveing family. We watch out for each other, and Keith and I are VERY watchfull of Zeno. She has several suragate guardians and a tight circle of friends who all watch over her, and they all talk to me. You steped into this circle misrepersenting yourself, that was a lie. We do not lie to each other here, it is not tolarated from others,perticullary it will not be tolarated from any one from my side of the family, I don't reguard any one from there with any trust, the only reason I'm taking the time to respond is that you were not here, you were not directly involved.But even so there is a trust issue, I've not seen any reason to change that opion. Secondly, and this is a big one. DO NOT LAY A GUILT TRIP LIKE THAT AT MY DAUGHTER'S FEET. No more"her only wish is to see you befor she dies,your the nly reason she lives"... That's one of the ugliest low things I've seen done in a long time, to say something like that to a fifteen year old smaks of abuse. I know you understand abuse and to see you weild those words is beond offencive. IT STOPS NOW. IT STOPS HERE. DO NOT DO IT AGAIN. any more of this tactic and I will take it as a threat, to my child,my family, and my self. And I will do evey thing in my power to shut you down. that said, I do not feel inclined to 're-up' with this side of the family, but I've always told Zeno I would re-establish a contact for her, when she was old enough to make an informed choice, and when she wated it. Jason beat me to the punch, more power to him. But understand there are very strict rules with this, thier simple. NO CONTACT BEOND WRITEN WORDS, no phone, no viedo confrencing. just letters If at any time Zeno says no more, it STOPS. If she gets depressed or aprehensive or any sign that this contact is bothersome to her,IT STOPS. Leave her alone here, this is her playground, Jason already has her email, talk there, not here. I will be watching, break the rule this ends. As for me, I step back into the shadows, your welcome to watch my site, but no coments, I have nothing else to share.
I just made an account on here cause i wanted to say Hi to my aunt.
You where the biggest art encouragement in my life, i even had scholarship for art by the 4th grade and went to an Art magnet highschool (even though it also had a science side too, and i was in that) but it was my drawing that got me in there, none of that would have happened if not for you, and I always thought of you for teaching me a great deal even though you might not remember. Even time I pick up a pencil to draw a face or a tree or leaves on a flower I remember when you where teaching me shadows and nose placement.
Then one day you hate us? don't want anything to do with us? It feels like you are using a Nuke to take out a roach.
Family's have drama sometimes sure, they fight sometimes, but why would you want to cut me out like that? Here it is ten years later and your already using all caps? what on earth is so horrible?
I couldn't possibly understand your relationship with your sisters and brother, or your mom, my life has never known that kind of conflict, but what i want to understand is our relationship... you where my favorite aunt, the most interesting, and inspiring. What did I do, to deserve no contact? to Not have a relationship with my cousin? Why can i not "phone"
I helped you guys in a time of need did I not? The rest of the family aside, what did I do to lose your trust?
Life is too full of bullshit and strangers to hit the delete button on family...
again you have the right to with your siblings and your mom, not my battlefield. I wasn't there, all between you and them, all i ask is to not be punished for whatever they did.
I am not asking you to Re-up either. You can explain it to me, what ever, or you can not. Either way whatever you want me to talk about or not talk about i will also respect.
You can not love me, or hate me or whatever. But I want to put this in writing where it will stay right here on this page, and if you ever want to hear it in person or on the phone all you need to do is make that connection.
I love you Aunt Lori, I always will, and I forgive you.
ps lol but i am not putting my phone number on a public forums! that was hilarious!
g0thl1ng, where are you!? Tomorrow is your grandma's birthday!!!!And Thanksgiving. I thank God for you and Lori (Mamma - san) and Keith! His dry wit, and gallous humor throw me off though. Please write me!!!!!!
I am your mother's older sister, not the oldest, but the middle kid!!! Therefore "The Forgotten One!" Teresa, is the oldest, and I think she tried to write to Lori??!! My son found this site.
You used to climb all over him at age 2 or so, and he loved it, he said,"OH man, When I have kids, I SOOOOOOO want little girls!! Now this would be your Uncle. Or IS your Uncle. Anyway, he is older now, (29) and he and his wife have 1 daughter that is 4 and another daughter due in Feb. He just did a tour in Iraq not too long ago. But he is OUT NOW!
And, hates this country. He doesn't talk much about Iraq, but when he does it saddens my heart, that this country is full of lies.
Maybe I could somehow have Jason mail you pics. I don't have the ability to do that. But, he can from his friend's house.
I think my older sister e-mailed Lori, as Jason called her (Teresa), once he researched over here, and found Deviant Art with familiar things I pointed out, and so on. She must have stayed up all night, reading Lori's journal and she said, that Lori said she was disowned by her family and it deeply hurt, Teresa.
I thought I was disowned by you all. I have tried, and tried over the years. Even found some old poetry by Keith.
But, to make a long story short, I am writing you to tell you we all love you all, very, very, much! Mamma prays to see you one time, before she passes away. She is 79 on Thursday. I'll check back here today and tomorrow and give you more #'s. Her's if you want it, as I don't know everyone's side of the story!!!! As, there is ALWAYS more than 1 side. Mine is (316)733-6082.
My mother, your Grandma, has cried and cried and cried and cried, since she saw you last. I have not seen her in over 10 ++ years. But, I do listen to her on the phone. She listens better than she talks. That was probably true back then, and what ever happened probably had to do with that, somehow, if ya get my drift. But, Zeno she loves you, and LIVES for you, and you alone.
Thanks for your mothers page....but, I want to talk to you, honey, I never even met my real dad until I was over 40...
Mamma Manes may not have that long, as I think her mind is going. But, The siblings say I am losing mine. I have not told anyone else, nor would I have told Teresa, Jason did that, as he did not know I would have wanted him to wait. But, I hope whatever she said, doesn't make you all dry up and blow away again. Please stay in touch with me, and let me know if you want more #'s. I love you,and you look so much like Lori, a carbon copy, like she cloned you. But, remember my pictures of Lori are as a lot younger gal than she is now.
Mamma Ba wants to be lika a dear someone (can't recall the ladies name) who listens to those young ones, or older ones, that feel they have been left behind! By family, by friends, by renters (?HA!) Serioulsy - Family, siblings, old boyfriends, as I am in need myself of healing!!!!!
I wish to write and share experiences.....share pain, and together, find healing. Offer advice, accept advice, and find meaning.Caring souls in this world we ARE - but Spiritual beings, after all, having a human experience............. feeling.
Life in general.
let me set a couple of things staight, right from the get go. It was ME that made the decission to step back and cut all ties, It was a deccission I came to in therapy so so I could move on and heal, and I have. Keith did ask I asked him to, it has not been in any way easy for any of us, but we are a very strong and loveing family. We watch out for each other, and Keith and I are VERY watchfull of Zeno. She has several suragate guardians and a tight circle of friends who all watch over her, and they all talk to me.
You steped into this circle misrepersenting yourself, that was a lie. We do not lie to each other here, it is not tolarated from others,perticullary it will not be tolarated from any one from my side of the family, I don't reguard any one from there with any trust, the only reason I'm taking the time to respond is that you were not here, you were not directly involved.But even so there is a trust issue, I've not seen any reason to change that opion.
Secondly, and this is a big one.
DO NOT LAY A GUILT TRIP LIKE THAT AT MY DAUGHTER'S FEET. No more"her only wish is to see you befor she dies,your the nly reason she lives"... That's one of the ugliest low things I've seen done in a long time, to say something like that to a fifteen year old smaks of abuse. I know you understand abuse and to see you weild those words is beond offencive. IT STOPS NOW. IT STOPS HERE. DO NOT DO IT AGAIN. any more of this tactic and I will take it as a threat, to my child,my family, and my self. And I will do evey thing in my power to shut you down.
that said, I do not feel inclined to 're-up' with this side of the family, but I've always told Zeno I would re-establish a contact for her, when she was old enough to make an informed choice, and when she wated it. Jason beat me to the punch, more power to him.
But understand there are very strict rules with this, thier simple.
NO CONTACT BEOND WRITEN WORDS, no phone, no viedo confrencing. just letters
If at any time Zeno says no more, it STOPS.
If she gets depressed or aprehensive or any sign that this contact is bothersome to her,IT STOPS.
Leave her alone here, this is her playground, Jason already has her email, talk there, not here.
I will be watching, break the rule this ends.
As for me, I step back into the shadows, your welcome to watch my site, but no coments, I have nothing else to share.
--
nomatter where u go there u are
EAT BREAD
YEAH TOAST!!!
You where the biggest art encouragement in my life, i even had scholarship for art by the 4th grade and went to an Art magnet highschool (even though it also had a science side too, and i was in that) but it was my drawing that got me in there, none of that would have happened if not for you, and I always thought of you for teaching me a great deal even though you might not remember. Even time I pick up a pencil to draw a face or a tree or leaves on a flower I remember when you where teaching me shadows and nose placement.
Then one day you hate us? don't want anything to do with us? It feels like you are using a Nuke to take out a roach.
Family's have drama sometimes sure, they fight sometimes, but why would you want to cut me out like that? Here it is ten years later and your already using all caps? what on earth is so horrible?
I couldn't possibly understand your relationship with your sisters and brother, or your mom, my life has never known that kind of conflict, but what i want to understand is our relationship... you where my favorite aunt, the most interesting, and inspiring. What did I do, to deserve no contact? to Not have a relationship with my cousin? Why can i not "phone"
I helped you guys in a time of need did I not? The rest of the family aside, what did I do to lose your trust?
Life is too full of bullshit and strangers to hit the delete button on family...
again you have the right to with your siblings and your mom, not my battlefield. I wasn't there, all between you and them, all i ask is to not be punished for whatever they did.
I am not asking you to Re-up either. You can explain it to me, what ever, or you can not. Either way whatever you want me to talk about or not talk about i will also respect.
You can not love me, or hate me or whatever.
But I want to put this in writing where it will stay right here on this page, and if you ever want to hear it in person or on the phone all you need to do is make that connection.
I love you Aunt Lori, I always will, and I forgive you.
ps lol but i am not putting my phone number on a public forums! that was hilarious!
MEET MYT MOMMA
--
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."Terry Pratchett
My awsome comic~MoriHigh
You thought your school was hard....TRY KEEPING TRACK OF BODYPARTS!
You used to climb all over him at age 2 or so, and he loved it, he said,"OH man, When I have kids, I SOOOOOOO want little girls!! Now this would be your Uncle. Or IS your Uncle. Anyway, he is older now, (29) and he and his wife have 1 daughter that is 4 and another daughter due in Feb. He just did a tour in Iraq not too long ago. But he is OUT NOW!
And, hates this country. He doesn't talk much about Iraq, but when he does it saddens my heart, that this country is full of lies.
Maybe I could somehow have Jason mail you pics. I don't have the ability to do that. But, he can from his friend's house.
I think my older sister e-mailed Lori, as Jason called her (Teresa), once he researched over here, and found Deviant Art with familiar things I pointed out, and so on. She must have stayed up all night, reading Lori's journal and she said, that Lori said she was disowned by her family and it deeply hurt, Teresa.
I thought I was disowned by you all. I have tried, and tried over the years. Even found some old poetry by Keith.
But, to make a long story short, I am writing you to tell you we all love you all, very, very, much! Mamma prays to see you one time, before she passes away. She is 79 on Thursday. I'll check back here today and tomorrow and give you more #'s. Her's if you want it, as I don't know everyone's side of the story!!!! As, there is ALWAYS more than 1 side. Mine is (316)733-6082.
My mother, your Grandma, has cried and cried and cried and cried, since she saw you last. I have not seen her in over 10 ++ years. But, I do listen to her on the phone. She listens better than she talks. That was probably true back then, and what ever happened probably had to do with that, somehow, if ya get my drift. But, Zeno she loves you, and LIVES for you, and you alone.
Thanks for your mothers page....but, I want to talk to you, honey, I never even met my real dad until I was over 40...
Mamma Manes may not have that long, as I think her mind is going. But, The siblings say I am losing mine. I have not told anyone else, nor would I have told Teresa, Jason did that, as he did not know I would have wanted him to wait. But, I hope whatever she said, doesn't make you all dry up and blow away again. Please stay in touch with me, and let me know if you want more #'s. I love you,and you look so much like Lori, a carbon copy, like she cloned you. But, remember my pictures of Lori are as a lot younger gal than she is now.
Thank-you, thank-you, thank you!!! Love Mamma Ba.
Janeanaiis@hotmail.com
Serioulsy - Family, siblings, old boyfriends, as I am in need myself of healing!!!!!
Offer advice, accept advice, and find meaning.Caring souls in this world we ARE - but Spiritual beings, after all, having a human experience............. feeling.
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